Lily, 17, Hertfordshire, UK

I must obey otherwise the devil will punish me

lily2-no-textFor a long time I thought I was weird, but then I discovered that I had OCD. I always assumed OCD was when you obsessively clean all the time, but I was completely wrong. However this shows how the awareness and understanding of OCD is so small. Throughout the years, realising I’ve had OCD from the age of around 12 and to now where I am 17, I have definitely been through a lot!

I was sent to a psychiatric hospital for 5 months which was a big challenge and I had to make a lot of sacrifices and do a lot of exposures. I am now on the road to recovery, my medication, my recovery programme and my support system/family has all been sorted out properly.

From my parents not even knowing I was struggling, to now getting involved in my recovery, is a big and scary but important change. I still really struggle, almost feeling like I did before I went into hospital, but thinking about it, I took a lot of steps and we have to notice the little improvements as it’s the little improvements that build up to big improvements!

“A ship is safe in harbour, but that is not what ships are built for.”

Categories: The Wall

5 replies »

  1. You remind me so much of myself at your age, I was diagnosed just before my 12th birthday and I too spent months in and out of psychiatric hospitals. It’s hard, but you are stronger than it, I promise you that with every baby step you take you are gaining more than you will ever know. I’ve been there, and have been in recovery for 10 years now, OCD still likes to peep in and say ‘ooh remember me?’ and I say *~@* off, I don’t need you and will not let you run my life. Now I have a family, children and a business! All things I was sure I’d never achieve! I did it, so can you xoxoxoxo


    • I’m so happy to hear how much you’ve succeeded! And thank you very much as well! Thank you for giving me some hope x


  2. I liked your post and although I do not have OCD I do understand the overall struggle of mental illness as I have schizophrenia. Please stick with Recovery and you will “sail to many a happy harbor!”


    • I’m sorry to hear you are also struggling with an extremely difficult disorder! Thank you very much for your advice 🙂 I appreciate it x

      Liked by 1 person

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