Alfie, 22, Hertfordshire, UK

My OCD is like having a bully on my shoulder who asks me ten thousand questions a day.

alfie-no-textMy OCD triggered when I was 16. It was literally like a snap of the fingers trigger – from that very moment my life has been a huge struggle.

I was only diagnosed with OCD about a year ago. I had obvious ‘Pure-O’ symptoms, but every GP and therapist I saw within the 5 years between said that I was just an anxious person.

OCD has questioned every aspect of my life. From doubting my sexuality to convincing me I’m a paedophile.

My compulsion is simply ‘ruminating’. Endlessly. To the point where I don’t even realise what’s going on around me.

The problem I’m suffering with at the moment is doubting whether or not I actually have OCD. Deep down I know I do, but the bully on my shoulder will find a reason to doubt. It’s currently trying to tell me I shouldn’t be submitting this because I don’t even have OCD…

Categories: The Wall

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3 replies »

  1. I’ve had OCD since I was a child, but was formally diagnosed a year and a half ago. I have been doing CBT and taking medicine since then. One of my problems after the diagnose has been doubting whether I really have OCD. Thanks for sharing your story!

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  2. I’ve tried to convince myself that I don’t have OCD too. That it’s just anxiety. I think it would make me feel more hopeful about the symptoms going away if it was ‘just’ anxiety. I’ve almost convinced myself before…and then something happens and OCD takes over and I know there is no way I don’t have it. It sucks…but I’ve come to terms with the diagnosis and instead of trying to convince myself I don’t have it, I focus on trying to live the best life possible with it. Best of luck to you.

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