Anonymous, 40, Montréal, Canada

My OCD doesn’t feel like it is me. It has made me so, so angry. I had to write a book about it!

anon24-no-textI have suffered with OCD for 30 years. Badly.
Four years ago, I eventually realized that it’s taken my life away. I got so angry.

I have had several therapies in my life, two of them in clinics, and I learned that there is something more behind OCD. I was told that I had low self-confidence and low self-esteem. I was stunned at the time and didn’t believe it. Now, I know it is true.

I have learned to understand more about why I have developed OCD in the first place. That has also made me angry. But, it has also made me start fighting it.

I guess that a lot of people here would rather like to simply read about hope and support. I find hope and support important, too, and that has helped me to keep going. However, I personally don’t believe (anymore) that hope and support from the outside is enough to get better.

It is the anger that I have felt and that I have turned into some sort of motivation to get some of my life back. Whenever I withstand a compulsion, I don’t only feel tears but a lot of anger.

I chose to write my novel in the form of a mystery/thriller – because of my anger ☺.

I wouldn’t have been able to write it if I hadn’t become angry and improved my condition!

Categories: The Wall

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2 replies »

    • I am actually still working on improving my self esteem. But it was important for me to realize it was low in the first place. In fact, it’s been very low! I now understand that it has been put down by those people who I had always believed were right about what they said about me. I was too scared to doubt them!

      I now try to grow by trying to love myself and not just listening to all those critics I have got about my personality. This has been the first step to take and is very important!
      I try to listen to the positive things that I also hear about myself and not dismiss them anymore.
      I try to acknowledge that I have some qualities – things that I am able to do well (not an expert but well enough).

      Have you seen my new clips about my novel? There are 3 of them. And I am just about to make my fourth, to try and motivate other people.

      Here are links for my first 3:

      What do you think about them?

      I’d like to hear about you, too :-)!


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