I thought I was going to harm my family.
I have a different type of OCD that is not often spoken about: Pure O. My illness is driven by unwanted intrusive thoughts and feelings, often around the things I value the most.
Instead of outward compulsions, mine are covert so are often hard to spot. Some of my compulsions include mental checking, looking over my past, scanning my memories for anything that could relate to a thought, trying to cancel out the thoughts by repeating positive phrases, asking for and seeking reassurance, asking family, and spending hours googling OCD forums. Even though not seen, these compulsions can take up hours of my day.
The thoughts I experience are horrendous and often flare up during times of stress and change. I would say the thoughts are the worst part of my illness.
I am here to get the word out there about my type of OCD, as it seems it’s just not discussed enough. Many sufferers go undiagnosed and do not seek help because they do not realise they have OCD.
It’s time to end the stigma attached to mental illness – let’s talk about it more!
Categories: The Wall