You’re flirting with her, do you find her attractive, does that mean you’re cheating on (girlfriend). Sexualise every person I see in the street, at home, what does that mean?
My OCD stems off three different ‘strands’:
- Fear of harming children
- My relationship- thoughts I’m going to cheat, thoughts about ex’s etc
- Sexualising everyone and everything, seeing people naked or imagining them doing the most disgusting sexual acts.
It really depends from time to time which strand is the worst, or it can be a mixture of all three. All of these intrusive thoughts lead me to be anxious around the people I love, people in public meaning I struggle with social situations currently. My OCD has led me to feel suicidal in the past. I struggle daily with my OCD, where I’m constantly questioning and fearing what any and every thought and feeling I get from these thoughts mean. I have the most supportive network in my girlfriend who despite sometimes being at the centre of my negative intrusive thoughts, doesn’t let it phase her and we’re inseparable. I’m a big advocate for people needing to learn about OCD as in the past few months my teacher training was suspended because a mental health service decided I was a risk to children and informed the local authority and from that my university pulled me out of school and suspended my studies until I could prove I was not a risk. I have since been in contact with the service lead of the service who decided to safeguard me and a thorough investigation has been sought to find all the mistakes that were made. My OCD has been worsened by this and all I want to do is get back in the classroom to do what I have been working so hard, to be a teacher. But from this whole experience, I fear it will have negative connotations for my career. I’m hoping I can become an open advocate for OCD to help teach those who need the knowledge most.
Categories: The Wall