By Emily, USA

Audio by Sarah Griffin

Fists clenched
Knuckles white
In my pockets
Where no one can see them
Arms trembling
Shoulders twitching
So subtle
No one can notice
Breath in, breath out
Faster and faster
So quiet
No one can hear it
A thought, a picture
A bullet, a stab
Disgust
Is this really who I am
Mind protecting
Don’t look
Don’t touch
Don’t think
Then you’ll be safe
Can’t be safe
Mind accusing
What do I think
What did I think
Why did I think
Why can’t I think
Why can’t I be certain
Mind in circles
I can figure it out
Just remember
Now I have
What if I’m wrong
Now I haven’t
Unending circles
I can know
Just think harder
Then you’ll be certain
Now I’m certain
Can’t be certain
Will it ever end
Maybe someday
Can’t be certain