If I breathe in too deeply when I walk past a bin, I will inhale germs and my body will become contaminated
My OCD manifests itself through cleaning, checking, washing and intrusive thoughts. For example, I will wash my hands frequently (either with hand gel, anti-bac wipes or in a ‘safe’ bathroom), I will check numerous times before leaving places i.e. the house or my car, I am frequently concerned about becoming contaminated and I worry about a whole host of other of things throughout my day.
In hindsight, I have always had OCD but I was unaware that I had the condition until I started my first course of CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy); as far as I was concerned, everyone had the same distressing and intrusive thoughts that I had as that was the only thought process I knew. It was quite difficult to suddenly find out that I had been carrying around such a heavy weight, unnecessarily, but like I said, I didn’t know any different.
The following 6 years, progressing through treatments and experimenting with an array of medications, were by far the toughest and I found myself in a very dark place on many occasions. What it has taught me though, is that I am not alone in my battle and I am a heck of a lot stronger then I perceive myself to be! I am able to dig deep, continue my fight and I need never to feel ashamed of the cards I have been dealt.
Note from the editor
Categories: The Wall