Kyla, 34, California, USA

If I look at a plane passing overhead, it will explode and I’ll be responsible.

kyla-no-textI think the worst thing for me is that a lot of my intrusive thoughts sound really, really stupid when I actually think about them. Of course I’m not going to lose control of myself and lick someone’s arm during a conversation. Of course saying I’m having a good day isn’t going to cause someone I love to die. Of course planes won’t explode if I accidentally look at them.

Worse are the fears that are very unlikely, but there’s still a chance. Will I feed my cats tainted food? Will I catch rabies by petting an outdoor cat? Will leaving my microwave plugged in burn my apartment complex down? Will taking a bath cause my bath tub to plummet through the floor into the apartment below mine? Probably not. “But there’s still a chance,” my OCD says. “It’s probably happened to someone, somewhere. You’d better go unplug everything and wash your hands and throw out any suspicious cans of cat food, just in case.” It’s really hard not to listen.

Categories: The Wall

4 replies »

      • Do you pay any fee if you want to post something? Could you please show me a direct link to where I can post because I’ve read a message on how to post but it doesn’t work out.

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      • There’s no fee, this is a community project run by volunteers. Posting on The Wall is a manual process, so you send an email to wall@thesecretillness.com with your picture, your caption and your story. That email is then treated in confidence, we pixelate your picture and create the image with your caption on it and then send it back for you to approve. Once you’re happy with your Wall Post pictures we upload them and your story in draft mode onto the website and then it goes in a queue and each day we make one of those posts in the queue live.

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