I worry that worrying causes people to hate me

I have the irrational and intrusive fear that nobody genuinely likes me, which triggers the idea that I will never know with certainty because they are all lying to me.

I spend so much time worrying that it has become normal for me to throw up at least once a week from anxiety over the smallest things.

The worst part about having relationship OCD is that you will never find certainty because you can never been inside someone else’s head to see for yourself how they actually feel.

My compulsion is asking for reassurance about their feelings towards me, which is weird in itself. How many times does someone need to tell you they love you before you believe it? For me, it doesn’t matter because my OCD tells me they are just saying it because they’re supposed to.

How do you love yourself when nobody else loves you?